Extreme Self Doubt & Fear of Speaking
“I am Happier now that I can express what I want to say”
The client came to me with a lack of confidence and found everyday speaking caused huge anxiety, particularly in social settings. She did not believe in herself and had fears of being judged by others. This has prevented her from achieving her goals and prevented relationships blossoming.
She grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother who was detached, where arguments at home were a normal part of family life. She was the quiet one and she was constantly bossed by siblings and never felt she could make a decision for herself as she was always judged by them.
Key symptoms: How she felt before RTT™️
- Feeling overwhelmed when something needed to be done, then indecisive & procrastinating.
- When things were not in their control she became stressed.
- Anxiety was felt in her chest when required to converse day to day.
- Gets tongue-tied, forgets what she need to say and then feels embarrassed.
- Not being true to herself and not trusting and speaking up in relationships.
The Journey: What I experienced as her therapist:
At one point in her life, approximately around the age of 7 she can remember feelings of happiness, achievement, self-belief, courage and feeling proud. But things changed. By the age of 10 she felt small, not good enough and not important. Growing up she was not allowed to speak and told to “be quiet”. This left her feeling powerless and worthless, because she had no voice. She felt that life had let her down, as she was not doing what she wanted and there was a part of her true self bursting to get out.
During the session she start to feel nauseated and started to cough profusely. She was getting sensations of coughing up black tar. She was healing before my eyes, she was releasing every unspoken word that had been blocked in her throat and voice box for many years. As we worked through this healing, the client started to normalise again and the sensations left. Her voice and throat were no longer blocked. She had finally cleared the passage to speak and found freedom in having a voice.
I have yet to have a client who did not feel their voice would not be judged or that their voice did not matter at some point in their life. And they have acquire an ingrained unconscious fear that they don’t speak their truth, they don’t trust their own voice. And as part of nearly all my sessions I actively work with the client to re-empower them with the voice, they were born with. The empowerment and liberation in the session is a moment of joy for both the client and me as an observer.
The result: How She felt After RTT™️
When I first met this client, her voice was low, shy and jittery. Now she has reclaimed power in her voice and says what she wants. She speaks fluidly and with command. True to herself. She has realised her voice does matter and that people want to hear what she has to say. She is no longer worried by other people’s opinions or allows it to hold her back.
Our voice is an expression of who we are. It is one of the only ways to express when we are little. But for many it gets suppressed because we are told to be quiet. Or something is said to us that makes us feel judged. Clients feel unheard and misunderstood. As I say to all my clients, your voice does matter, it is and extension of who you are and to always remember no one can reject you or your voice unless you give them permission and I work with clients to ensure they never let that happen. We don’t give rejection their power.