Overcoming Anxiety and Self Doubt
“I feel like a super power. I feel calmer. I’m not overwhelmed, it feels amazing”
The client was referred to me by her friend. She had already done CBT and was medicated for anxiety. She presented severe anxiety and self-doubt. At our first discovery call she found it difficult to speak and gather her thoughts. She was extremely emotional and was in a constant spin of doubting herself and overwhelmed by life and simple daily tasks. She was raised by a volatile narcissist father and lived in fear due to the unpredictable nature of his moods. She was constantly bullied at home growing up. Getting things wrong at home and at school resulted in verbal abuse and chastising.
Key symptoms: How she felt before RTT™️
- She was overwhelmed by emotions and had difficulty making a decisions.
- Her speech and body were jittery and she was biting her nails.
- Everyday tasks like going to the supermarket or making dinner caused immense anxiety & doubt.
- She struggled with authority at work and always sought for validation in others.
- She had irrational thoughts and did not believe in herself or her decisions.
- She did not feel anyone believed anything she said and had a constant overpowering feeling of being judged.
The Journey: What I experienced as her therapist:
She initially came to me to deal with anxiety and then subsequently came back for another session on doubt. I always like to start clients off by going to a happy memory and initially she struggled to go here as she instantly started to doubt if she could do it or were they doing it right. But with my guidance they went to a beautiful happy place, a place of freedom, peace, calm, “no predators”, where they were confident making decisions and just being and doing. So now we knew the client felt this before and they could achieve this again with my help.
In the first session she was so afraid to speak, she expressed slowly and with caution. In the session, as part of healing, we did a dialogue with the parent which caused immense fear. As she said herself it was like opening up the gates to the “slay of the dragon” and it wasn’t until session two that she felt empowered with a voice and got to use her voice and feel heard without fear. That was pretty powerful and amazing to watch.
She grew up feeling everything was her fault, she was made to feel stupid, useless, unwanted, that it was unsafe to be herself, as being herself was not enough and would be criticised. Life was outside her control and change was bad. Sudden change in particular would bring feelings of immense unease and anxiety. Day to day she would feel that the doors to the gladiator games had just opened with her in the centre, always made to feel wrong and so when achievement did happen she felt it must be luck or I must doubt it. Essentially she did not believe in herself.
There are so many facets to this case, but at the core is a little girl that was made to feel that being herself was not safe, not accepted, not good enough and that her voice did not matter. This transpired then into severe doubt that was stopping her from enjoying every day simple tasks. And while yes this was a complex case it did not take years of therapy. Within 1 session she had enough understanding to let the past go and to start to control her own life, a life with a choice and freedom to express her voice.
The result: How She felt After RTT™️
After session 1 the results were remarkable. She was so calm at her follow up call and she spoke fluidly and with command on what she wanted to say. As she said herself she was, “sure of herself”. Her nails had grown from being hurt stubs and they were beautifully manicured in a lovely blue polish. She was clearly beaming and was now well able to manage authority. There was a real sense of I can do this. There was no longer any doubt. She was much stronger now and much more able to function day to day in life. I am so proud of her and what she has achieved in such a short space of time. No one should have their light dimmed or be made to feel unsafe and to be anything but themselves.
Life is a choice. It is a bit like an illusion. Depending on what we think we can see if differently. We have a choice in how we think through life. We are no longer dependent children, we are now independent adults with a choice and part of my work is inner child healing so we can remove the child from this turmoil and have them let go of the past. One of the most favourite parts of my work is observing clients heal within the session and letting go of the past and bringing that little child who might have misunderstood their role in life. I guide them into their life now as an adult, where they have a choice and a voice. In the end we are our choices.